"Direction, not intention determines your destination."Andy Stanley, Principle of the Path
9.15.2015
9.05.2015
Summer 2015
At the start of summer, I had it all figured out. I accepted a job working in an assembly line that paid REALLY well. I was going to make a bunch of money to pay off my next semester of school and stay out of debt. I also started off the summer by having a hard conversation with my parents and I was excited to have the rest of the summer at home to spend time and grow with them. A week into my factory job, though, I realized I hated my job, I cried every day, and I hadn't seen my dad in a week. So much for family time. And so much for a job- I quit less than two weeks in and there went my debt-free education.
Thank God for that!
I remembered a conversation I had with the Mission's Pastor at Northbrook and shot him an email about the internship he had mentioned to me the previous semester. After a few weeks of frustration (from not having a job and waiting on slow email responses!) we talked and I had a start date! I was met with disappointment when a few days before I was to start I got a call informing me the Pastor was on sudden leave for the rest of summer. Thankfully, the call was from Pam, the SHARE assistant, and she was willing to still take me as an intern. So I began the internship that became a continuous gift to my soul this summer in many different ways. And each blessing that came my way that I didn't expect, deserve or plan for, I was reminded of how far better and deeply satisfying it is to let God be in control.
The first gift was not a surprise missions trip or a flashy event (although those are coming!) but a person- Pam. I couldn't have planned to work under her but I'm more than thankful I did. She showed me what a solid leader looks like through the way she did her job every day. When the pastor went on sudden leave, she stepped up and dedicated herself to do the extra work load well, giving up time with her family and time for herself. There is a reality of sacrifice, of give & take, and balance that must be found in ministry and I was challenged by Pam to think on these things. One thing I really appreciated doing with Pam was reading through the book, "Fusion". The Lord challenged my heart to see church in America in a different light- a healing thing for my heart to do. Lastly, Pam gifted me with a safe atmosphere to speak up and do things I have not done before. She encouraged and valued my input in meetings, as well as gave me real ministry responsibility. It was a safe place to make mistakes, to learn, and to express my thoughts, ideas, and experience.
The next gifts (as promised above) came in the form of travel; one of my favorite things to do! I had the unexpected opportunity to travel to Puebla, Mexico with a short term team of 17 people. The team ranged from a couple in their 80's to a young girl traveling alone at 15. This multi-generational team was one of my favorite parts because there was such a diversity of age, personality, and missions experience. It was a gift to connect with four younger girls that I traveled with and the orphanage that we traveled to, Living Hope, was especially wonderful. For one thing, I knew the girl who led our team throughout the week and it was such a cool thing to reconnect with her from years ago being at Fort together. For another, the kids were simply joyous! We had a lot of play time with them and they were so precious in my eyes. A little girl named Donna in particular captured my heart. What a blessing the whole trip was- to see another culture, get to know a wonderful team, and reflect on what it truly means to HOPE in Christ.
The other trip that I took was a much shorter distance. I went to The Summit global leadership conference at Willow Creek Church in IL. Two days of non-stop speakers, fellowship, and rapid note taking! I got to spend a lot of time with two ladies from the office, Carrie & Tracey. It was literally the best to get to know them and so much fun to explore the conference with them (and taking all of the free pens from the booths!). I had the pleasure of hearing Brene Brown speak, whom I have loved ever since hearing her first TED Talk. All of the speakers were just incredible and everyone should experience this conference at one point in their life. It wasn't bad having my own hotel room for two nights either. I felt like such a grown up... traveling to a conference for work. ;)
On another note, it was a good summer to home with my family and after quitting the factory I saw them a lot more. I got to go to Fort Wilderness with them for, what probably will be my last, family camp and spend a lot of days playing games, going shopping, eating on the deck, or watching movies with them. The coolest thing was building a star-gazing platform on the roof of our house! My dad mostly did the work of course but I did actually help and then I used it every day of summer after that. It was the best! Of course there is much to learn now having relationship with my parents in a new way. I am praying for a quiet confidence to approach them with bold communication and the heart knowledge of how much they care for me. I have hidden within myself for too long and it's time to just be myself with them and let go of the false expectations I have put on myself. I'm so grateful God continues to teach my heart to do these things and although it feels like a slow process I am learning to be patient and trust the work he is doing in not only my heart but theirs also.
To say the least, I'm thankful for how summer turned out. Letting go of control is a continuous lesson I am learning that proceeds to be an incredibly difficult thing. Thanks be to God though for his gracious and faithful dedication to making me more like him. I am again and again undone at how wonderful it is to be in relationship with a God who loves so deeply, cares so faithfully, and forgives so freely. But who also holds me to the higher standard he calls us to live. I have much to learn as I continue to walk this road as I transition to my second year at Moody Bible Institute but my heart moves forward in confidence in the glorious God that I am following there.
More thoughts about Moody to come... that's another story. :)
Thank God for that!
I remembered a conversation I had with the Mission's Pastor at Northbrook and shot him an email about the internship he had mentioned to me the previous semester. After a few weeks of frustration (from not having a job and waiting on slow email responses!) we talked and I had a start date! I was met with disappointment when a few days before I was to start I got a call informing me the Pastor was on sudden leave for the rest of summer. Thankfully, the call was from Pam, the SHARE assistant, and she was willing to still take me as an intern. So I began the internship that became a continuous gift to my soul this summer in many different ways. And each blessing that came my way that I didn't expect, deserve or plan for, I was reminded of how far better and deeply satisfying it is to let God be in control.
The first gift was not a surprise missions trip or a flashy event (although those are coming!) but a person- Pam. I couldn't have planned to work under her but I'm more than thankful I did. She showed me what a solid leader looks like through the way she did her job every day. When the pastor went on sudden leave, she stepped up and dedicated herself to do the extra work load well, giving up time with her family and time for herself. There is a reality of sacrifice, of give & take, and balance that must be found in ministry and I was challenged by Pam to think on these things. One thing I really appreciated doing with Pam was reading through the book, "Fusion". The Lord challenged my heart to see church in America in a different light- a healing thing for my heart to do. Lastly, Pam gifted me with a safe atmosphere to speak up and do things I have not done before. She encouraged and valued my input in meetings, as well as gave me real ministry responsibility. It was a safe place to make mistakes, to learn, and to express my thoughts, ideas, and experience.
The next gifts (as promised above) came in the form of travel; one of my favorite things to do! I had the unexpected opportunity to travel to Puebla, Mexico with a short term team of 17 people. The team ranged from a couple in their 80's to a young girl traveling alone at 15. This multi-generational team was one of my favorite parts because there was such a diversity of age, personality, and missions experience. It was a gift to connect with four younger girls that I traveled with and the orphanage that we traveled to, Living Hope, was especially wonderful. For one thing, I knew the girl who led our team throughout the week and it was such a cool thing to reconnect with her from years ago being at Fort together. For another, the kids were simply joyous! We had a lot of play time with them and they were so precious in my eyes. A little girl named Donna in particular captured my heart. What a blessing the whole trip was- to see another culture, get to know a wonderful team, and reflect on what it truly means to HOPE in Christ.
The other trip that I took was a much shorter distance. I went to The Summit global leadership conference at Willow Creek Church in IL. Two days of non-stop speakers, fellowship, and rapid note taking! I got to spend a lot of time with two ladies from the office, Carrie & Tracey. It was literally the best to get to know them and so much fun to explore the conference with them (and taking all of the free pens from the booths!). I had the pleasure of hearing Brene Brown speak, whom I have loved ever since hearing her first TED Talk. All of the speakers were just incredible and everyone should experience this conference at one point in their life. It wasn't bad having my own hotel room for two nights either. I felt like such a grown up... traveling to a conference for work. ;)
On another note, it was a good summer to home with my family and after quitting the factory I saw them a lot more. I got to go to Fort Wilderness with them for, what probably will be my last, family camp and spend a lot of days playing games, going shopping, eating on the deck, or watching movies with them. The coolest thing was building a star-gazing platform on the roof of our house! My dad mostly did the work of course but I did actually help and then I used it every day of summer after that. It was the best! Of course there is much to learn now having relationship with my parents in a new way. I am praying for a quiet confidence to approach them with bold communication and the heart knowledge of how much they care for me. I have hidden within myself for too long and it's time to just be myself with them and let go of the false expectations I have put on myself. I'm so grateful God continues to teach my heart to do these things and although it feels like a slow process I am learning to be patient and trust the work he is doing in not only my heart but theirs also.
To say the least, I'm thankful for how summer turned out. Letting go of control is a continuous lesson I am learning that proceeds to be an incredibly difficult thing. Thanks be to God though for his gracious and faithful dedication to making me more like him. I am again and again undone at how wonderful it is to be in relationship with a God who loves so deeply, cares so faithfully, and forgives so freely. But who also holds me to the higher standard he calls us to live. I have much to learn as I continue to walk this road as I transition to my second year at Moody Bible Institute but my heart moves forward in confidence in the glorious God that I am following there.
More thoughts about Moody to come... that's another story. :)
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