I want to travel the world.

Church

"For it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God Himself, and unless and until hearers find God in personal experience they are not the better for having heard the truth. The Bible is not an end in itself, but a means to bring men to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His Presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts."
-A.W. Tozer

I absolutely love this quote.  When I came home from my missions trip to India last February 2013, I had a new perspective on what the 'church' was. In India I saw people who were neglected and impoverished. People who lived under a tarp on the street or in a hut with a tin roof, not even half the size of my walk-in closet. But I also saw a people who desperately and joyfully sang praises to the Living God. Beautiful people who, despite whatever situation or background they came from, loved the Lord and cried out to know Him. Their hearts and souls knew something I had never known or seen before. They knew God because of such a deep personal experience and need for everything He is. They were satisfied in the sweet delight of the His Presence that filled the room as they worshiped. They were the church and as they gathered together, God gathered with them.

Church in America is a little different. We walk in to the service, sing a few worship songs to begin and then listen to a pastor preach.  If the pastor isn't funny and doesn't tell cool stories during the message, or the music is too loud, we say things like 'I'm still looking for a church that's right for me'. We have so much stuff, we are always well fed with much left over to throw away, we live in mansions, and our problems consist of having to clean out our closets because we have to many clothes. No wonder Jesus said the kingdom of God is for the poor. They are the ones who are desperately seeking Him and who constantly recognize their need for Him. As an American myself, I've never had to honestly ask God as my provider where my next meal will come from. I haven't felt a desperate need to know Him because by earthly terms i'm not lacking anything.  Regrettably, I've lived being okay with that.  

Are we so deceived though? We need to recognize that everyone should have that same desperate need and desire to know God more intimately as the poor often do and then drink deep of the Living Waters that flow from Him.  I've realized that church isn't about what's nice and what works for us, how funny the pastor is or how good the worship song makes you feel. It's about us as His body of believers bringing the kingdom of God to the ends of the earth. We are the church- a people coming together from many situations and backgrounds and worshiping whole hearteldy and humbling ourselves before our worthy King. We need to experience God because no matter how much truth is spoken, it is empty words if we don't allow God to transform our own hearts out of a desire to know Him more and be more like Him. 

I want to seek the Lord out of a desperate heart to know Him. I want to go to church to be with my family of believers that I can worship alongside, discover life, and experience God with. I want to be completely satisfied in the intimate delight of the sweetness of the Holy Spirit's presence within me.'

For it is true what is said, God alone can truly nourish our souls.

Old Testament Completed!

The past 9 weeks of studying the Old Testament has transformed my relationship with and understanding of the Lord. From the beginning of creation in Genesis to the time of the Minor Prophets ending with Malachi, God’s character has proven consistent and fully good. Going into the school, I had read through much of the OT but just skimmed over the hard passages that I had no idea what to do with. I knew in my head that God is good and that was what I stuck to amidst the anger, killing, wrath and destruction that seemingly fills the OT. What has been key for my heart to understand during my studies is God’s heart of goodness and care for his people that roots his anger and wrath. We all know it and hear about it, the OT is filled with point blank statements saying that God is angry. The Holy Spirit really moved in me and shifted my view of it all while studying the prophet Jeremiah. This is where revelation came when I saw that God always prefers mercy before judgment, always judges accordingly to each individual, and how God would not be good if he wasn’t angry with the sins of his children that caused oppression and neglect of the poor, widow, and the fatherless. God is good and righteous in his judgments and anger. He is never arbitrary and always desires the best for his people. God is sovereign as he accomplishes his plans to redeem his people but works through the free will choices that his people make for themselves. God chooses to move differently as we pray (Moses’ Intercession for Israel) and is so personal with his people (Mt. Sinai). God is so good!
What I am most moved by and incredibly grateful for is the heart knowledge and strengthening of my personal relationship with the Lord. There are so many things I’ve known since growing up in a Christian household but where the truth of the word has met me most is in my heart. I know a lot about God but I have been so blessed to get to know God and his character more deeply, even in my own story now. With every doubt and attack I started out against God with, my heart has been strengthened with the truth, goodness, and heart of God the Holy Spirit has revealed to me in my studies and my quiet times. In every hardship I’ve faced and relationship that has been left broken, God has met me with truth and love to bring healing and conviction in those areas of my life. Although a hard process at times, I can already see the transformation taking place in my heart and life by the grace of God to bring me to the fullness of who I am as a young warrior bride so deeply cared for by my great and mighty King!

Yesterday, I had the privilege of touring the Oriental Institute Museum of Chicago, IL. The artifacts and pieces were incredible to observe and the reality of the Old Testament came to life. We walked through the ages of the empires- Mesopotamia, Assyria, Egypt, Babylon, and Persia! After studying 1st and 2nd Kings in the OT and seeing everything in the museum, I felt immersed in the cultures and gained a deeper insight into the lives of the Israelites during their journey.
My peanut butter moment hit me when we walked in between two actual portraits of lions that once lined the path to the gates that opened the door to the Babylonian Empire. The Israelites walked down this pathway when exiled into Babylon from Judah and walked in between these exact portraits! Daniel, THE Daniel, of the bible walked past these lions! It was absolutely incredible through the exact portraits God's people passed by thousands of years ago.
What a gift to experience that moment and have God's word truly come to life in parallel with that moment in my life so many years later.

Righteous anger in the midst of grief

God knows us so intimately that only he can experience the deepest of grief.  In the midst of injustices done, God is angry. God is filled with rage because his precious sons and daughters are being oppressed, they are being killed in gendercide, they are bullied, beaten, and raped. This was not what He intended.  God's is angry in his endless grief.  He knows the number of hairs on our heads, he knows everything that is in our hearts, he knows us so intimately that only he could experience the deepest of grief that causes a righteous anger for the hurt of his children. We have no idea how much we hurt God with our sins (because our sins always affect more than just us) and our arbitrary view of him. Depending on our experiences of the feeling in the moment we deem God certain character traits. If we stub our toe, we say, "why are you punishing me, God?" or if we finally get to see a friend who has been away for so long we say, "wow God you are good." In Bruce Almighty, he yells up to the heavens, "smite me almighty smiter". Our experiences don't define God's character though. He isn't arbitrary and he isn't angry without cause. Actually, God is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, but will by no means clear the guilty. Would he be a good God if he wasn't angry at the injustices of this world? No, his anger is in his deep and unimaginable care for us. Think about the things you get angry over- babies being killed in China because girl are not valued, or your friend who has to battle cancer suddenly.  Our anger is intimately connected with our grief in so many ways. God's anger is often in his grief too. God's anger is righteous. God only punishes those who are guilty but he is ALWAYS looking to be merciful. It's our hearts he wants. But it's up to us to repent, to choose him, to seek to do good and live loving others from an overflowing love from knowing him- our heavenly father.
God, thank you for your righteous anger because I see the justice and care that you desire for your children.

Sexy Christianty

I read this article today about the popularity of Christianity in today's culture. When it comes down to it- why do we love Jesus? It's easy to be a christian today because everybody thinks you are cool "TOM-wearing, book-and-Bible-reading, simple-living, guitar-playing, coffee-drinking, bare-footing, leaf-licking, justice-loving, short-term-missions-tripping Christian."

Where is your heart in the midst of it all?
Check out the article:
http://kyledonn.com/blog/sexy-christianity